Of Mud, Gloop and Slime
by Oma-1
Summary: Humour. An SG-1 Rhyming fic. Follow the team as they embark on a mission, blow stuff up, fall in some icky stuff...just your normal SG-1 adventure :p Inspired by the children's story, Room on the Broom. Rated K.
1. Chapter 1

_AN: One of my younger kids favourite books is "Room on the Broom". It's a story written in poem style about a witch and her friends, who ride on her broomstick. One of the lines that repeats itself in the story is "and Whoosh! they were gone". Anyone with sense in their head, (okay, an SG-1 obsessed head ;)) knows that that line is _actually_ referring to the Kawoosh and travelling through a wormhole! Hence this SG-1 rhyming adventure :p _

_I've split this into 4 chapters because (when it's formatted right) it's fairly long. As you can see, __I'm having a real headache formatting it properly. It's either post it like this; or to get the lines separated, they show up with huge gaps between and you can't differentiate the different verses. :s If anyone can help, please let me know!!! I've read poems and songfics on so I know it can be done! Once I've formatted it correctly I'll post the rest._

_I hope you enjoy it!_

_Rated: K_

* * *

**_Of Mud, Gloop and Slime - Chapter 1_**

Jack was the Colonel,

The Major was Sam.

Daniel the Geek

And Teal'c the Man.

How the Colonel grinned

And how the team glowed

Their excitement as

The wormhole they rode!

-/-

They had many adventures,

They found many friends.

But sometimes danger awaited

At the wormhole's end.

-/-

How the team angered,

In contempt they spat

When the wormhole dropped them

In a Goa'uld's lap!

'D'oh!' cried the Colonel

As they landed on the ground;

They looked for an escape

But none could be found.

-/-

Then out of the trees,

In powerful fashion,

There attacked the Goa'uld

A jaffa with rebel passion!

-/-

He rescued them quickly

Then hurriedly said

(As the team got to their feet

And rubbed their heads)

'I am sent by Bray'tac

To warn you, I fear

That many jaffa

Are really quite near!'

-/-

'Run!' said the Colonel.

'We have to move now.

We can't let them catch us,

No way, no how!'


	2. Chapter 2

AN: I've not managed to figure the formatting out properly, but its in some semblance of order now! Chapter 1 adjusted too.

**_

* * *

_****_Of Mud, Gloop and Slime - Chapter 2_**

-/-

They fled through the trees,

Dodging with ease

The jaffa patrol

Of which there were three.

-/-

The team gave them the slip

But one of the them tripped!

Daniel had fallen

And injured his hip!

Teal'c plucked him up

And continued ahead,

Following the Colonel

Wherever he led.

-/-

'Stop here!'said the Major

'We've run far enough.

Daniel must rest –

He's looking quite rough.'

'Just for a minute.'

The Colonel replied,

'We gotta keep moving

Or they'll catch our hides.'

-/-

'Wait!' cried the rebel,

'I know a way

We can reach the chappa'ai

In just half a day.'

-/-

Then all of a sudden

A jaffa horn blew!

They were calling for help

To stop SG-1 getting through.

-/-

The Colonel thought swiftly.

'We need to be quick.

We have to split up

And play on them a trick.

Major with me,

Daniel with T,

We'll create a diversion

So you can go free.

We'll meet at the place

We agreed before,

By that pile of rocks

Near the lake's shore.'

-/-

Teal'c nodded assent,

He was ready to go.

He lifted up Daniel,

The jaffa in tow.

They picked their way gently

To not make a sound;

By those noisy jaffa

They would not be found.

-/-

The Colonel and Major

Exchanged a glance.

They knew what to do

To give their team mates a chance.

They set their trap,

They hid their C4.

In the ground around them

They planted claymores.

Grinning merrily

When the primers they'd set;

They moved off a ways –

A surprise Jaffa would get!


	3. Chapter 3

**_Of Mud, Gloop and Slime - Chapter 3_**

-/-

They hid themselves stealthily,

Keeping their heads down low;

The area they'd rigged

Was about to blow.

A THUNDERING NOISE

Echoed all around!

The Colonel and Major

Grinned at the sound.

-/-

'I think the diversion

Worked just fine!

We must hurry to meet

At the lake in time.'

-/-

SPLASH! 'Ah, crap!'

'Sir?' Sam whispered.

'It's alright, I'm okay,

Just a little mud covered.'

'Uh, Sir, that's not mud

You've landed in.

It appears to be slimy

And smells really grim.'

-/-

'Help me out will ya?

He extended his hand.

Carter grasped it tightly

And heaved him onto dry land.

Sam frowned.

The Colonel was mad.

The gloopy stuff smelled

Horrendously bad!

-/-

They met up near the lake

With no further mishaps,

Daniel and Teal'c were

Trying hard not to laugh.

The Colonel was wet

And grumpy and smelled.

He was determined to make

Everyone else's life hell.

-/-

'Of course!' said the Colonel

In his sarcasm filled tones.

There were jaffa at the gate.

'Should'a expected 'em, I suppose.'

The team readied their weapons,

Prepared to attack….

But the rebel jaffa

Had slipped behind their backs.

-/-

'Kree! Kree!

I know where they are!

Follow me, I will show you!'

He shouted to the Jaffa.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Of Mud, Gloop and Slime - Chapter 4_**

-/-

'O'Neill, wait –

He is still on our side!

He is diverting them away,'

The jaffa was pointing wide.

'I believe they will pass

Far off to our right.

There are only two remaining

Still in our sight.'

-/-

In seconds there were none;

The way was clear.

'Don't worry Sir,

Bath time's quite near!'

The Major was giggling,

Daniel was turning red

From suppressing his laughter.

'What? It had to be said!'

-/-

The Colonel shot them

An icy glare.

'At least I have Teal'c

To count on.' He declared.

'O'Neill you are fragrant.'

Teal'c almost smiled.

'Keep a look out behind you –

I'll remember that for a while.'

-/-

With eyes searching the treeline

They approached the gate;

'Time to go home kids,

We don't want to be late.'

-/-

'Thank you for your aid

My brother, my friend.

Freedom will prevail,

We will win in the end.'

The rebel jaffa nodded

'Most assuredly, we will.

The rebellion is strong,

We wish freedom still.'

-/-

With a bow to the team

He bid his farewell.

With pride for his brother

Teal'c's chest did swell.

-/-

'Thanks!' called the Colonel.

To the Major 'Lead on.'

'Daniel, dial the gate.'

And Kawhoosh! They were gone.

-/-

Back home to earth

SG-1 flew

To report to their boss

General Hammond, who knew

What a rough ride they'd had

On their mission this time,

With Jack covered and smelling

Of mud, gloop and slime.

* * *

_AN: Well, that's all folks! Hope you enjoyed their little tale. I enjoyed wiriting it - hope it wasn't too stale..._

_Oy! Way past time to stop rhyming!_


End file.
